When trials and tests come into my life I am always prepared to think and feel myself into inactivity. The length and breadth of the situation, the varied possible outcomes, and the impact of each, play around in my head until I realize the day has passed. Usually my thinking revolves around the impossibilities, catastrophes and chaos the situation is bound to bring and the negative results which seem impossible to avoid. Troubled lately I find myself running scenarios around in my head until I am sure all is lost.
Sometimes my granddaughter Allena will phone and want to talk to Poppa. She tells me about what she has been doing and where she has been. You know I have never understood the fascination with grandchildren. They are after all just highly emotional little people living in a land of giants. Grandparents gush and show off pictures of their grandchildren like they are showing you treasures untold. “Yes I know he’s drooling in this picture but can’t you see how intelligently he is doing it”??
My three grandchildren are just new members of my family which I celebrate and am happy to see and interact with when I can. The fact that they are the perfect combination of Gandhi and Einstein is just a coincidence. When they crawl into my lap I vow they will never be harmed or given back to their parents, after all what do they know? The ‘never given back to the parents’ vow is often broken when they poop themselves.
In this particular call Allena talks of a trip she recently took with her parents. Allena’s’ father is from Jamaica and recently they traveled there so she could celebrate her fourth birthday with her relatives in Kingston. She has been taught about her heritage but still has a little trouble because she believes every man with dreadlocks is Bob Marley. Her calls will almost invariably involve a song she recently learned. She will sing it with great gusto and laugh as I applaud.
But what is different this time? In fact this difference has been around for a little while and mystifies me. She asked “Do you want to hear a song I learned in Sunday School”? I have taught her gospel songs from the south, “Down to the river to pray” is a favorite. But this is new. Sunday School?
She sings a simple song about Jesus and I want to reach through the telephone and scoop her up then and there.
Yes apparently my daughter has been taking her to a church in Hamilton. They have made friends and my daughter has prayed the sinners prayer. When I hear this I believe I will come out of my skin I’m so happy. She tells me she will trust God in her decisions and move forward with His blessings. You will notice that any talk of life’s trials seem to have disappeared.
I guess I have been reminded to trust God who will give me no more than I can handle. My faith must grow with trials and challenges. I must not let my fear of the situation convince me that all is lost and catastrophes are only a moment away. Fear of rejection, anger and closed minds must be balanced with faith. I am reminded of a breathing exercise I learned from a Buddhist monk . . .
“Breathe in faith, Breathe out fear”.
I can’t wait to go to church with my daughter and her family. The joy of watching Allena go off to Sunday School will be beyond my puny words to describe.
I have always been fascinated about the idea that we come to God as a child. We must have the faith of children, eager and trusting.
When I see the little ones going off to Sunday School I hope I am always reminded of the miracle they represent, and the faith they are able to engender.