Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short. Revelation 12:12
In 2015 on October 2nd my daughter Karen would have turned fifty-six years of age. Fifty-five of those birthdays on earth, and the first one for her in heaven. Now consider this — Two days later on October 4th 2015, my mother celebrated her one hundred and third birthday, all of them on earth. Mom lived two more years and died one month before her one hundred and fifth birthday. At this point in time though, she had lived forty-seven more years than Karen.
I admit, at the time I had mixed feelings when I thought about that… On the one hand I felt it was unfair that God took her from me to live in His heavenly home at such an early age. On the other hand, I felt wonderfully blessed to have had her with me for 55 years, as well as my mother for so long when others have lost theirs early in life just as Karen’s children, Lisa and Nicholas now have only memories to sustain them.
So how do I reconcile all of these mixed feelings? How do I face today and tomorrow without my daughter, how do I console my grandchildren, and yet be thankful for the extra time God had given me with my mother?
First off, I believe that God loves me just as He loves Karen, her children and my mother. I must keep in my mind that He knows what is best for all concerned because He knows the future and I do not.
I also must recognize that He is not in the balancing act business of trying to appease what I look upon as just or unjust. God sees the whole picture while I see as through a glass darkly. I believe He knows exactly what He is doing and will guide me while I wrestle in this spiritual war zone I live in on earth.
It is my choice either to trust in His reasons, or to choose to believe He doesn’t care one wit about me. To rant and rave about how unfair life is, and thus becoming an angry, bitter old woman.
Old woman? Hmmm… at 105 my mother was what we all consider a really old woman! At least more of an old woman than I am by a quite a few years even today.
In a lot of ways Karen and my mother were very much alike, aside from sharing their birthdays in the same month. They both were strong physically as well as very strong willed. They never shirked their responsibilities or shied away from work but dove right in and lent a helping hand wherever they saw the need. They loved and cared for people, and were surrounded with friends and family who really enjoyed being in their midst. Both were very knowledgeable about many topics.
Mom (her name was EllaMay) was the middle child of eleven brothers and sisters and had outlived all of her siblings by quite a few years. Karen too was a middle child as she was the second born as well as the only girl of my family of four.
Every day my mother lived with the constant pain of arthritis; and had daily pains in her neck and down into her arm that she injured in a fall. She had wet Macular degeneration in one eye and dry Macular in the other. Every five or so weeks my sister Roberta would take her to the eye specialist where he put a needle into her eye which enabled her to read her Bible, her book of prayers, along with RBC’s Our Daily Bread.
Every few months she had to take mom over to a hospital for an Iron Infusion which had to be done slowly because of her age. This often took hours and sometimes more than one day.
In the last four years of Karen’s life she lived with much pain from the first operation to remove her first breast tumour which was benign. We rejoiced at that blessing. The last two years of her life undergoing Chemo and Radiation treatments was her lot as a totally new breast cancer was diagnosed at stage 4 and had spread to her lungs causing breathing problems before going to her brain. The horrible effects of the drugs and treatments made her last year one of intense pain and suffering.
You might ask… “Did your mother or Karen ever complain about all of these painful procedures and happenings and question God’s purpose in their suffering?” Yes, of course they did, wouldn’t you! Every now and then it became overwhelming for both of them and Karen asked me once, ‘why me MOM?’ This mother could not give an answer. But this lasted only for awhile before she called again on Jesus to help her bear it all. They both would have told you that Jesus never let them down and sent His angels to help them bear the pain. I don’t doubt that to be true!
My mother and Karen had wonderful sense of humours, laughing often in spite of their problems. In fact, they saw the humour and funny side in situations that would make the rest of us burst into tears.
What is the secret ingredient that got Karen and EllaMay through each day? It’s was no secret – just plain and simply their faith in Jesus who was and continued to be their tower of strength through their troubles.
Karen’s partner Jim helped give her the strength and encouragement she needed through this ordeal until she was free from her diseased body. I helped until my first hip replacement which took place five weeks before she died. I was able to be with her two days before she passed into glory but only minutes before she went into a medicated coma.
Jesus entrusted the majority of care of my mother to my sister Roberta until the last two years when my sister Donna along with myself, arranged for one of us to be with her almost every day.
All this happened with Karen five years after I buried my husband Neil, and two years after Karen, my mother departed for her heavenly home. I don’t know how I got through those years except to say that God carried me with a peace and strength I will never understand.
No one knows what the next minute, hour or day will be like in our lives. Yet we go along expecting to do whatever plans we have floating around in our heads with no thought at all to what happens when suddenly our next breath stops! We all know life throws wrenches into the mix, and drains get clogged, but we race ahead with the belief that all will be well when we die. Or else believe there is nothing afterwards and this is as good as it gets. Fortunately the bible tells us differently and the choices we make on earth will matter to where we spend eternity.
God knows the exact amount of time we have available here on earth. He has a plan and purpose for that time if we will just let Him take hold of the steering wheel and do the driving.
Let me encourage you to step out of your own planning stage and take a peak at what God’s plans are for you. Remember the words to that old song, “I Never Promised You A Rose Garden”. God has not promised you or me an easy life for following Him, but one thing I have found is that His plans are more breathtaking and exciting than anything with which I could have arranged. Through all the anguish of losing my loved ones, He has never forsaken me but comforted and showed me through His word that I will see all of them again because of their faith and belief in Jesus. Make no mistake, we are His Soldiers and as such are always under spiritual warfare.
No matter what circumstance you find yourself in, be patient and Jesus will show you exactly what plan He has in mind to bring peace and purpose to the rest of your days.
Listen carefully… Hear Him knocking?
Pull your door wide open and invite Him to enter.
You will have no regrets, just a sense of freedom and peace that will envelope you as soon as you allow Him through that door!
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming . . . “WOW WHAT A RIDE!” (Anon)