From sinking sand He lifted me,
With tender hand He lifted me,
From shades of night to plains of light,
O praise His name, He lifted me! Gabriel
January Twenty-eleven for me was the beginning of a sorrowful year. I had lost my husband the night before on New Years eve Twenty-ten. He was my best friend, lover, and confidant of over fifty-four years. Years filled with laughter, toil, sweat and tears. I felt a great gap of me… like my right arm… was missing, but at any moment it would suddenly reappear and reattach itself. I waited and waited… all the while thinking that soon all would be normal again. But it never happened. A new normal was born to me that night in Twenty-ten!
I don’t remember much at all of Twenty-eleven. I was very sick through the first few months with flu and nosebleeds. The nosebleeds ended the night Karen and I went on a harrowing ride through a snowstorm. Me by ambulance, and Karen following in her car to Barrie RVH. Total exhaustion seemed to permeate my very being that year.
I do remember my family lovingly tending to my needs: the health problems mentioned above; helping me to grasp all the legal paperwork required along with the huge learning curve that taking ownership requires. The extra load of running a household previously shared by two pairs of shoulders, still rears its unwanted head from time to time.
I was on an airplane a couple of times that year to visit my sons in California. I also took a few road trips to visit relatives, but don’t ask me what they were about as all I recall are snippets here and there.
My memory began to reappear by the end of Twenty-eleven when I spent a very pleasant Christmas with my daughter Karen before going to my son Robert’s in Mississauga for five enjoyable days. From Toronto I took a flight to California for New Years Twenty-twelve which I spent with my two sons Tim and Garth and their families. We shared a good New Year’s celebration with some tears, but also much laughter as we told stories of a much loved husband, father and grandfather. We were filled with peace as we remembered the strong faith we all shared, knowing it would be a wonderful reunion when we saw him again one day.
In the past I dealt with life’s disappointments through physical work. If you found me scrubbing floors or washing walls, it was a strong indication I was in some form of forced therapy. God however, had other plans this time around with the return of my energy. I began to notice others who were dealing with their own difficult problems needing a helping hand. I found myself supplying respite to someone from their caregiving burdens; I helped a sister to recover from a shoulder operation; I spent time helping my mother in her recovery from a broken hip; plus many other opportunities I found before me. Helping others in their healing process shifted the focus off myself, and I became a blessing while being blessed.
Twenty-twelve ended on an upbeat note with me opting to have Christmas and New Years here in the comfort of my own home. The new year of Twenty-thirteen began to take on a brighter vision filling me with a joyful, positive attitude. Adding to this feeling of well-being, was having my grandson Joshua come to live with me while he works to help further his education. This should be a fun, learning time for a granny in her seventies, and a twenty one year old! I see patience needed on both sides as we try to decipher what we are actually trying to communicate to one another! However, I believe you ‘Can’ teach an old dog new tricks, and new Dogs have a lot they can learn from an old dog!
Recently I was reading Neil’s favorite Scripture, Psalm 121. This time around I had a better insite as to why it was so special to him. See for yourself what he took to heart. He loved the poetry of the King James version below. Have a Happy Brighter New Year! Syb.
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved:
He that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore. Psalm 121