JOKES AND QUOTES!

Actual Newspaper Headlines
*Dentist receives plaque
*Cemetery allows people to be buried by their pets
*Local High School dropouts cut in half
*Father of nine fined $100 for failing to stop
*Kids make nutritious snacks
*Hospital sued by seven foot doctors
*Obesity study looks for larger test group.

* It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this one.       C. S. Lewis

* Fellow citizens, why do you turn and scrape every stone to gather wealth, and take so little care of your children, to whom one day you must relinquish it all?    Socrates (469-399 B.C.)

* Life need not be easy to be joyful. Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ.                                  William Vander Hoven

* There are two ways to get enough: One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.                   G.K. Chesterton

Phil Callaway Quotes – * I’m learning that my circle of concern may be as large as the world, but my circle of influences limited to only a few people.

* Phil- I’m learning to spend my time with the few, modelling compassion and integrity.

* Phil- I love cordless phones, but sometimes I think I would settle for a phoneless cord.

* Phil on Office Bulletin board – In case of fire, flee building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time.

* Phil taped this note to his boss’s door- The beatings will continue until the morale increases.

* Phil- My dad once asked my mother if she would like to open a joint savings account with him, and she declined. She said she preferred to open one with someone who had money.

Keep smiling, Christians, and feel His Joy! 

 

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