1) I’m at a place in my life where errands start to count as going out.
2) I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
3) I loved approaching 80, I learned something new every day and then forgot five other things.
4) I think I’ll just put an ‘Out of Order’ sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
5) Just remember; once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
6) It’s weird being the same age as old people.
7) If 2021 was a math word-problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
8) Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
9) When I was a kid, I wanted to be older…this is ‘not’ what I expected.
10) We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
11) Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
12) I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in three hours and 20 minutes.