Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

* Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

* The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

* The best way to get rid of kitchen odors is to eat out.

* I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

* Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

* Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.

* Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

* We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and be quiet.

* I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.

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