* Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
* Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
* The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
* The best way to get rid of kitchen odors is to eat out.
* I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
* Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
* Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.