Phyllis Dillerisms

*  Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
*  Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
*  The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
*  The best way to get rid of kitchen odors is to eat out.
*  I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
*  Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
*  Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

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