* Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. * Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. * The reason women don’t play football is because 11 …
1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2) In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. 3) No one expects you to run — Anywhere. 4) People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask “Did I wake you?” 5) People no longer view you …
A friend suggested an easy solution to the deer problem. Every time you cut your hair, wrap it in pantyhose and hang a little from the tree. It works. Really. The deer avoid the tree. And eat your shrubs. Several years after high school, my friend and his new bride …
1) Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved. 2) One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such …
